Chocolate deficiency crisis!

[Sunny Clouds]

I have developed nasty symptoms of a chocolate biscuit, cake & cookie deficiency crisis.

1. I have no chocolate biscuits, cakes or cookies in my kitchen, only ghastly non-curative junk like vegetables, fish, pulses, nuts, grains etc.

2. I have a cough that would scare others in the supermarket.

3. Some horrible government adviser has accidentally told the BBC that if you have coronavirus symptoms, e.g. coughing (take your pick between continuous, persistent or whatever is this week's definition) you have to self-isolate for a week even if your lateral flow is negative and now you can't escape simply by getting a pcr to prove you messed up the lft.

How am I going to survive?  And if I don't, is there chocolate in the afterlife?

(And have I misread the rules?  Can I escape if I've no fever?)

[Sunny Clouds]

The cough is easing after some cough mixture, but hasn't stopped.  But I think I'm right that the three times a day thing isn't necessary if you're coughing for over an hour.

To be briefly serious (gosh I must be unwell), I get very catarrhal at night because of a mould allergy, and usually have a couple of brief bouts of 'bring up the mucus' coughing in the morning (leaning over moist air whilst washing hair then having first hot drink).

So because I've been tossing and turning a lot on account of pain in my back and ribs, this could actually be simply my mould allergy worsened by the movement stirring up spores round my bed. 

And my lft's definitely negative.  It's not fair, why can't I be the sort of person that would ignore the rules and trust the lft?

Oh well, paracetamol for my back pain and a bottle of cough mix to park next to my bed.  Maybe I can get some sleep in the daytime.  Dreaming of choccy treats I shouldn't be eating anyway.  I weaned myself off them before then lapsed.  Maybe cold turkey will do the trick.  Or maybe I'll cave in and plead with the neighbours to help me.

[Sunny Clouds]

Paracetamol + cough mix = sleep.

Awake, feeling just slightly tired, coughing without leaning over hot, moist air, trying to work out whether you report a negative lft if you have symptoms.  Yes, my pedantry's still functioning ok, and my humour's still dysfunctional as usual.

[Fiz]

Sunny, a negative PCR + fully vaccinated = you don't need to self isolate so you can go on a chocolate hunt but I am passing you some in case you don't feel up to the trip 🍫🍫🍫🍰🧁🍫


I hope you feel better soon 

[Sunny Clouds]

It was an lft, but I've just booked a pcr.  I was a bit confuddled because I thought the government had been saying you couldn't have pcrs if you'd got symptoms, you should just isolate, and that pcrs were for people who'd tested positive lft with no symptoms.  But that's back to front, isn't it?  Anyway, I phoned 119 and asked whether I report a negative lft result if I've got a cough and was told yes and given a pcr appointment.  I gather they want to do some other sort of test as well that involves stabbing me with something.  Or maybe I'm supposed to do it to myself.  If I hadn't phoned before seeing your post, I'd have been prompted to think of a pcr test.

And if it's positive, my main worry is that there's a neighbour that helps me with my garden and I always put a kettle, mug, teabag etc. and some choccy or biscuits  (and a bit of cash).  I was wondering how to get my neighbours to do it so I don't have to breathe germs all over the teabag. But that's not until Sunday.

So I shall take that virtual choccy with me to the pcr test.  Why didn't I get Fizchoc with my army rations?  I'd have been able to march much further.

[Fiz]

Yep, if you have one of the 3 symptoms it's a PCR. There's a significant false negative and false positive LFT results hence until recently if you had no symptoms but tested positive on a LFT or if you had one of the 3 symptoms but tested negative on an LFT you used to have to do a PCR but that's changed.


The latest change is if you've tested positive on an LFT you can take that as positive and not do a PCR. The government justify ignoring the fact that people can test false positive by saying numbers are so high currently, more people will be genuinely positive.


Not long before that the change was you no longer qualify for a PCR test if you don't have symptoms. This stops people doing a PCR just because they've been in contact with a Covid positive person. This rule makes more sense to me as most people are vaccinated or have antibodies due to recent infection. I'm less impressed with the new rules on no PCR if the LFT was positive because there's a significant number of people isolating who don't actually have Covid.


So, as you have one of the 3 symptoms you should still have a PCR under the current rules. I know so many people with awful colds and coughs around the country who don't have Covid though so I am hoping yours is a non Covid type virus. More chocolate for you 🍫🍫🍫

[Sunny Clouds]

I wonder whether, for me, it would make any practical difference having a positive pcr as opposed to simply assuming I'm positive and isolating anyway.  I'm wondering whether they ask who you've been in contact with.  "Well, um, the neighbour's cat got a bit close and there were some strangers in the supermarket, and I got quite close to the bus driver to drop my before-0930 pound in the slot but there was a screen...um, just tick the 'grey-haired lonely' box."

I suppose I'd better finish getting ready to go out.

Thank you for explaining stuff and cheering me up.

  (hand was sanitised before giving thumbs up)

[Sunny Clouds]

I'm PCR'd.  Now I'll await the results to see if I'm dead yet.

[Fiz]

Well done. My results were super quick. Text message early the following morning. Such a relief to get a negative result. Hope you feel that relief tomorrow too.

[Sunny Clouds]

Thanks.

[Sunny Clouds]

I just received official confirmation from the NHS (or whichever profit-making company they've farmed the work out to) that I'm a hypochondriac.

It goes without saying that they've couched it in silly medical jargon "Your PCR test is negative."

Choccy biccies here we come!

(So why do I have a sudden yearning for fish, which I've got in the freezer anyway?)

[ditchdwellers]

Do you have a penchant for any particular type of choccie biscuit,  Sunny?
I'm partial to a good old bourbon biscuit. Club biscuits are always welcome though,  as are those round chocolate covered, minty ones in the green foil wrapping with a biscuity base. I can't remember what they're called.
Oh blimey, now I fancy some 


  for the negative pcr test!

[Sunny Clouds]

I like dark chocolate.

For years, I avoided biscuits, being more partial to the odd treat of a pain au chocolat or an apple turnover or cake, mostly nut-flavour, or a nut & chocolate bar.  But then early in 2020 something disastrous happened.  My valproate was reduced.  It used to badly distort my sense of taste, making mustard & ginger & mint taste horrid (I can't remember whether it's the TRPA1 receptors or the TRPV1 receptors it messes up).  Suddenly my toothpaste didn't taste horrid.  Curious, I bought some chocolate ginger biscuits and was hooked.  I particularly liked the Borders ones.

Then I ventured into other biscuits like double choc cookies.  Yummy, yummy.

One problem I've got is that I buy biscuits for my gardener.  Mostly individually wrapped.  I keep changing the sort of biscuit as I keep being tempted to eat them.  It was easy before the valproate was reduced - just buy mint flavour biscuits. Then it stopped working.  Last week, I bought a packet of what I think were Penguin brand chocolate cake logs (not sure precise name).  No, surely I wouldn't eat those.  After all, when I bought a tin of  biscuits at Christmas then started to go mad with them, I hastily took the rest of the tin round to a neighbour's house.  Nope, just hours before my three-hour coughing bout, I ate the whole lot.  Eight?  Ten?  Not sure.

Aargh, now I'm seriously tempted to buy some bourbons.  There were some in that biscuit tin.  Hmm, but some of the other biscuits were nice, too.

I've tried diverting myself into stuff like coleslaw before one day looking at a tub and being honest with myself about how much junk is in the stuff.  I convinced myself the fish I ate yesterday was healthy, but the batter was probably full of junk, too.  When I realised how much sugar there is in bananas, I wasn't happy.  Last year, I started eating a few raisins, then more, then more.  But they're fruit?  Best not look at the fructose content.

So I suppose a few biscuits is no worse.

[oldtone27]

I have to severely ration my intake of Very Chocolatey selections such a M&S or Tescos do. They have a varied assortment with a thick coating. Highly addictive. 

[Sunny Clouds]

The ginger biscuits in the extremely chocolatey range are horribly moreish.  In my mind, I can see the whole display rack.  Shall I be able to go into M&S now without trying some different ones?

I tried to stop buying them, then found they do some sort of cookies just a bit further along the aisle that are chunky and munchy and sugary and...aargh.

My biggest problem is where I buy a packet and eat the whole lot in one go.