MIL broken hip by Ditchdwellers from UK site

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ditchdwellers

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MIL broken hip
« on: 15 Feb 2021 12:50PM »

Yesterday afternoon my 91yr old mother in law took a tumble while out for a walk with one of my brother in laws. She's fractured her hip and has undergone a hip replacement under an epidural this morning which apparently went well.


She has advanced mixed dementia and still lives at home with the help of carers in the mornings (we don't call them carers as she insists she doesn't need help, so are referred to as friends who pop in) and my husband and his brothers have a rota to go in each afternoon and evening to take her out for a walk and cook an evening meal.


I have a feeling we will need to increase the input from the carers during her rehab. Has anyone any experience of the recovery from this sort of surgery? She won't remember that she has had an operation or that she needs to do exercises. Her short term memory is pretty non existent. She only remembers her childhood. And that's patchy.


She's a lovely lady who loves chatting, and so amenable and friendly albeit fiercely independent! It's such a shame this has happened to her.


Any advice welcome!

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JLR2

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Re: MIL broken hip
« Reply #1 on: 15 Feb 2021 03:06PM »

DD, I wish your Mum all the best and hope she can come through this. I don't have any experience of the type of surgery your Mum has gone through the only thing I can think of is how my friend in Berlin's Dad coped following his breaking of his leg after a fall at home. My friend's Dad was then only in the earliest stages of dementia and my friend could cope. I was just saying to her the other day how had he been able to remain at home that bit longer the chances of him being around longer would have been so much better but as it was he ended up going into a local care home and from then it took only three weeks before he passed away. I learnt just how horrible it can be to look after someone suffering dementia and I only experienced a couple of weeks of it my friend was doing the looking after work for months running into years but for all that she would still have preferred him to be at home.

There are so many aspects of looking after someone suffering dementia at home that are not discussed, which no one or life prepares you for. From the little I experienced and saw in my friend's Dad between him being at home with his daughter, his knowing her face and his surroundings to the room in the care home and the staff who were but strangers to him and pretty much looked on him as another chore that had to be done before their lunch break, he was just so much more content being at home.

When you are on your own trying to cope there are so many things racing through your head, the knowing you need to leave the house to get shopping in or get to the bank to pay bills and the like all at the same time as worrying about what is happening at home. For my friend the fear that her Dad would either have a fall or try to do something that was now beyond them to do was constant. Every queue be it at a shops checkout or at the bank even waiting for the lift to arrive to take her up to the floor on which he lived seemed to take longer than it should. DD, I hope you will understand what I've been trying to say and I hope your Mum will be OK and at home with your family for a long time to come.

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Fiz

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Re: MIL broken hip
« Reply #2 on: 16 Feb 2021 06:54AM »

Recovery varies DD but I have very fond memories of nursing a 99 year old lady after her hip replacement. She was out of bed and in her chair the day after surgery and only needing minimum assistance transferring from bed>chair>commode and within a couple of days walked with her Zimmer to the shower room for an assisted shower. Here older people usually transfer from the general hospital to a rehab hospital before going home in non Covid times and I would say people should be able to mobilise okay with the exception of stairs by the time they are discharged home.


I do hope that her recovery is smooth and she's home soon and that the friends who pop in are able to pop in more often as needed. She's blessed to be so well cared for by family.

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JLR2

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Re: MIL broken hip
« Reply #3 on: 16 Feb 2021 07:51PM »

DD earlier today I was chatting with my friend in Berlin and thought I'd ask if she had any suggestions that she might have to help with things at home for your mother. My friend suggested that perhaps you might want to see if the social services may provide on a temporary basis a hospital type bed and the bedside lifting gear they have available in hospitals to aid someone getting in and out of their bed. Such a bed and lifting gear would have been very helpful for my friend but unfortunately the idea was only thought of after he had been moved into the care home, it would have made my friend's day to day life so much more manageable and lessened the physical toll on her own health as she struggled to get her Dad from his bed to his wheelchair and too and from the bathroom. My friend is not a big woman, only around the 54 kilos in weight, so trying to move or lift her Dad was a real struggle every time it had to be done. All the physical work involved in looking after someone can takes its toll on those doing the looking after and as in the case of my friend she was the only one available to do this caring, the government carers who did visit were only for the keeping the person being looked after company.

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ditchdwellers

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Re: MIL broken hip
« Reply #4 on: 17 Feb 2021 12:33PM »

JLR2- thank you for your good wishes and suggestions. I'll make sure she has a social services assessment before coming home.
My mother in law appears to be doing quite well. She is starting to mobilise and the hospital she is in is known for it's excellent care so we don't have too much concern on that point.
I was worried about the impact this would have on my husband as he can suffer from stress easily and has undergone group therapy to help him cope with it. He seems ok and we have talked about it. He is of of the view that his mum has lived a long life, and has been physically very fit. It's just the dementia that has affected her in old age. Her biggest fear is to go into a nursing home and we will do our utmost, with the help of the carers/ friends to avoid this.
My husband is of the view that if this fall hastens the end for her, then so be it. I hope this doesn't come across as callous. It's not meant to be and we will all be devastated when that time comes. She's such a wonderful, lovely person.


Fiz- Thank you for writing about your experiences.
I guess recovery is dependent on the individual. When she broke her knee about seven years ago, she was in the early stages of dementia and after time in hospital went to a convalescent home for a few weeks before coming home. I'm hoping there will be a similar arrangement for this.
I just wish my husband and his brothers could visit. They are the only people she now recognises.

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Sunshine Meadows

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Re: MIL broken hip
« Reply #5 on: 18 Feb 2021 12:02PM »

Sorry I don't have much to add to what others have already said except it sounds like your family's routine has been focused on keeping MIL out of a home so any change to that is likely to feel scary and maybe even wrong. Having a routine that gives family members a sense of being in control of events (to some extent) and without that feelings of helplessness can creep in as the new normal settles in. Looking back to when my Dad had a stroke, I was too far away and too disabled to be able to help but I still got caught up in feeling bad because I wanted to help Dad.

Huggggs