Author Topic: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!  (Read 13474 times)

AndMac

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Re: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!
« Reply #30 on: 23 May 2013 05:55PM »
I was thinking 'What... in an attic?!!" But I follow your logic. Pull up the loft ladder and nobody can walk in on you. Which was the overwhelming fear that I had in the same situation.
"I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things".

Dorothy Parker

Jockice

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Re: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!
« Reply #31 on: 23 May 2013 08:43PM »
There was no ladder. Just a flight of stairs, it was used as a spare bedroom. And that particular night was like something out of a Carry On film. I can honestly say I had nothing whatsoever to do with it.

Yvette

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Re: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!
« Reply #32 on: 23 May 2013 09:18PM »
Jockice, please tell us.

Else I shall start a new thread where we can all post our theories.   >whistle<

Jockice

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Re: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!
« Reply #33 on: 23 May 2013 10:35PM »
Oh okay. You'll probably be disappointed now but...

The attic had been converted into a bedroom with a couple of single beds in it. I had my own bedroom downstairs but would occasionally sleep there (like the time I was sick all over my bed after a night out just before my A-levels) but usually only when I had a friend staying over.

I was away at journalism college (in Wigan!) for a few months when I was 18-19, and became mates with a guy called Paddy, who came over for a football match a few months later and we slept in the attic. I needed a pee during the night and instead of going downstairs to the toilet or using the commode (which had been bought a few years earlier when my nana came to stay) I decided it would be a good idea to stand on it and pee out of the window to see if I could hit the bus shelter directly outside the house. I couldn't, and Paddy tried but was unable to either. No harm done.

A few months later I was out with Mick, who had been my best mate at school and whose mum had died shortly after we left, so he was hitting the ale in a big way. He only lived a short distance from me but on the way home asked if he could stay at mine. Sure I said and we headed up to the attic and to bed(s). I told Mick that the last time I'd been up here a mate and I had tried to pee on the bus shelter. Mick thought this was hilarious and decided to try himself. Be my guest.

So I watched as Mick stood on the commode, started peeing, and halfway through fell off. In slow motion. I was horrified. If he'd fallen backwards it wouldn't have been so bad but he did it sideways, going straight into the wall at the side. A wall I had now discovered wasn't solid at all, and now had a Mick-shaped hole in it. He's a big lad Mick (6ft2) and it was quite a substantial hole. So, as you can imagine I had a great night's sleep while wondering exactly how I was going to explain this to my parents...

Luckily my folks knew and liked Mick and knew he'd been cut up by his mum dying, so accepted my explanation (apart from the bit about Paddy and I successfully peeing out of the window previously, which I somehow forgot to mention) with good grace. The wall was beyond repair though, so a shoddy patch-up job was the best we could do, which remained there until the house was sold over two decades later. Probably knocked a couple of grand off the selling price.

So there we go.  Want to hear the story of how I lost my virginity there now? It involves a lost jumper.

AndMac

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Re: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!
« Reply #34 on: 23 May 2013 11:57PM »
I was right about target peeing being involved  >biggergrin< .... but 99% of males have probably done something similar at some time. Not fall off a commode whilst doing it though. That's a novel twist.
"I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things".

Dorothy Parker

Hurtyback

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Re: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!
« Reply #35 on: 23 May 2013 11:59PM »
I think andMac gets the prize for the nearest guess  >lol<

Yvette

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Re: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!
« Reply #36 on: 24 May 2013 09:32AM »
Want to hear the story of how I lost my virginity there now? It involves a lost jumper.

Too much information.  >yikes<

Thanks for 'eventually' posting about how the accident involving a commode happened.   >lol<

Jockice

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Re: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!
« Reply #37 on: 24 May 2013 01:44PM »
It could have been worse, Mick could have fallen forwards...

Jockice

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Re: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!
« Reply #38 on: 26 May 2013 06:13AM »
Wasn't sure whether to put this into the 'computer problems' thread or this one, but as it also involves windows. Both kinds...

Yesterday lunchtime my pc got hit by a virus. A nasty spyware virus. One that claimed to be from the police saying I'd been doing illegal things - I hadn't! - and if I didn't pay £100 they'd come and arrest me. Nice try but I don't think that's how the police work. Officially anyway.

It was particularly annoying as my virus protection had only run out the previous day and the only reason I hadn't updated it was because I couldn't be arsed going into the kitchen to fetch my wallet. But I now couldn't log on without getting this 'police' message and couldn't do anything else on the pc. So I phoned my usual computer guy, who I've used a couple of times in the past after getting his name out of the Yellow Pages at random. He's good, but seems slightly eccentric.

So he appeared, said what had happened to me wasn't uncommon and set about clearing my whole system, which seemed to be taking quite a while, so we ran out of small talk pretty quickly. Then he said: "Do you ever open your windows?" Eh? On my computer? No, he said, pointing at the living room (bay) windows, which only open at the top. No, I replied. It's been a few years since I have actually, as my balance and back are now so bad I wouldn't want to risk it. Peeing out of them wouldn't have been an option even at my peak of health. A couple of minutes silence then: "Do you want me to open them for you?" Er, if you want mate...

So he got up on the table in front of the windows and tried opening them. They wouldn't open, so he asked if he could use a knife to get them open. Go ahead. So he opened them and then asked if I wanted the flats doors open to 'let some air in.' Er, sure. Although I think there actually is air in here. While opening the doors he bumped into one of my neighbours and started telling him about my windows and that I never opened them. I'm sure Ian was absolutely fascinated to hear that..

Then he came back in and decided to try and wash them. There are egg stains on the middle one, the result of what seems to have been a wacky student prank a few months ago.  One of my neighbours tried to wash it off but it wouldn't come off. I told PC guy this but he wanted to try himself, and who am I to stop him? He couldn't get it off either, so he came back in and started going on about how I should get electric windows with remote controls and he could fit them for me. By now the computer was fixed and he started looking them up on the internet.

Eventually, I had to call a halt as I was already over an hour late for meeting a friend and so he left, promising to give me a ring when he'd found some electric windows, adding that he wasn't 'doing it in a bad way' and he 'couldn't help it.' I'm sure he can't but I'm equally sure that there is something about me that brings out the totally bizarre in some people...

Yvette

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Re: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!
« Reply #39 on: 26 May 2013 09:45AM »
Did he close the windows for you before he left?

Jockice

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Re: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!
« Reply #40 on: 26 May 2013 12:06PM »
Oh yes. I made sure of that.

Dic Penderyn

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Re: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!
« Reply #41 on: 26 May 2013 02:30PM »
Jockice if you have a recurrence of the Police Virus you can obtain the Pandarescue disk iso  from here.

http://www.pandasecurity.com/uk/homeusers/support/card?id=1673

you can clear the virus by booting your PC with a disk burned with this iso.

Had to use it on a friends PC a few months ago.

 
Be careful in what you wish for, God has a sense of humour

Jockice

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Re: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!
« Reply #42 on: 26 May 2013 03:16PM »
Cheers Dic. The computer guy fitted another anti-virus thing yesterday but I'll call up yours to. You can never have too much protection.

auntieCtheM

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Re: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!
« Reply #43 on: 26 May 2013 08:31PM »
Umm Jockice, do you think he was implying that your flat smelled a bit?  Not wanting to be rude to you or anything, but maybe it just needed an airing. 

On the other hand all computer people are a bit 'eccentric' it goes with the territory.  He could have a touch of aspergers and just need to be very clean.  The egg could have irritated him a lot.  I have a good friend with aspergers and it is surprising what really annoys him, usually something I do not notice, and what he just ignores.

Jockice

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Re: The only forum on the net to share THIS news...!
« Reply #44 on: 27 May 2013 11:29AM »
"Umm Jockice, do you think he was implying that your flat smelled a bit?  Not wanting to be rude to you or anything, but maybe it just needed an airing."


Possible. But my cleaner was round last Wednesday so it wasn't that bad. The cat litter trays hadn't been emptied but I usually do that on Sunday morning and I wasn't going to rush round emptying them and putting things in neat tidy piles because he was coming round. This is how I live and others can like it or lump it. As I've said before, in my life (and my job) I've been in lots of people's houses and I've seen (and smelt) much much worse than mine had ever been.

But there seems to be an assumption that because I'm physically disabled I'd love to live in perfect conditions but I'm unable to clean up so I really need help. People probably imagine I cry myself to sleep at night because everything in my flat isn't perfectly organised. A few years ago I had a brief..er...thing with a woman who lived just round the corner and the first time she came round she wailed: "You can't cope..." Sorry, but a few magazines and CDs on the floor really does not constitute a major crisis in my life. It has nothing to do with disability, it's my personality. Dunno if anyone's aware of the Myers-Briggs personality scale, but according to that I'm an INFP, someone who (and I quote): "When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet." It's actually quite a rare type so most of the population just don't get it...

But yeah, the computer guy is definitely on the aspergers scale somewhere.