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19 July changes - scared

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Sunny Clouds:
I don't believe the risk has gone away sufficiently to justify abandoning masks in enclosed spaces such as supermarkets and buses.  Maybe I'm wrong, but that's what I believe and I'm scared.  I'm not asking anyone here to agree with me about risk of infection.

What I'm particularly anxious about is the sort of person that's been a nuisance during the pandemic but that I expect to be more of one.  It's a type of person that gets too close.  For context, I live in a crowded urban area.

I'm not talking about the few that like to get too close in order to bully and harass, perhaps getting close enough to grope or upskirt or maybe just imply they're going to, or perhaps getting too close whilst visibly expressing (false) impatience behind people in queues etc.  In the pandemic, they've added getting too close to someone with no mask, and one in a supermarket found an excuse to get so close I could see his breath/spittle on my glasses.  (Seriously.)

But, they were there anyway, and they'll still be there, so 19 July won't change that.

The ones that worry me now is a likely increase in the ones that until now have got too close in their efforts to not socially distance. They're not trying to get too close, they just do because of over-compensation.

I live alone.  I have no partner.  Long covid terrifies me.  It frightens me far more than the possibility of dying.  Yes, I've been double vaccinated but that doesn't confer 100% immunity.

I've previously had postviral fatigue. When I was a student, people were understanding, although my university had no option for re-sits, you just had to get better grades in other subjects the next year to compensate.

But years later, I had it when I was 'trapped' in the modern psychiatric system and it was written off as retarded depression, except by some people who knew me long-term, including people who weren't my friends.

I know it's important not to panic, but I confess I'll be stocking up on shopping big time over the next fortnight so that I can minimise shopping afterwards.  I don't usually shop online where I am, although I have done so previously, but I think I shall start doing so.

Who knows whether it'll make any difference to my physical safety, but I'm hoping it'll keep me mentally safer.

It's interesting the evidence now proving that material reusable masks provide far less protection than the medical disposable masks. Given that most people walking around are wearing material reusable masks then they may not be providing much protection anyway to be honest. 

I feel fortunate to not have the emotional spoons to be concerned about Covid although I realise that isn't altogether healthy in and of itself. 

My previously double vaccinated friend has now recovered from her recent bout of Covid and yesterday I met a lady whose double vaccinated son currently has Covid and is feeling really ill. It'll be around for a few more years yet I feel. I hope we get boosters in the autumn.

Despite have had both "jabs," the advice from my GP practice and the specialist nurse over seeing the medication I am taking is to avoid crowds and shops. (Pretty much what I do anyway, even before the pandemic.)

Javid and Johnson's government are, I believe, trying to return to their herd immunity theory. Johnson as always is simply a wasted space, or in Glasgow parlance, a tube.

Sunny Clouds:
The mask thing is interesting.  I know there's been various research into it, including lab tests using different sorts of modelling, e.g. some with a mask over a dummy's face, some just testing what can be blown through a piece of fabric etc.

I've also come across that new stuff about disposables being better than fabric masks. What I do wonder, though, is how many layers of fabric and what sort.

I mostly use two layers of twin-layer cotton-based fabric masks, i.e. four layers of fabric.  Earlier in the pandemic, it was said that that was good, but maybe it isn't.

I think there are also issues surrounding washing and my guess is that it matters a lot how you wash them, but I've no idea what's the best way.  Using lots of detergent will mess up the virus' lipids, rendering it harmless, but could erode the fabric.  Hmm.

Maybe I'd feel safer if I researched the mask thing more, from a range of sources I trust.  Even if it doesn't make me much safer, it will divert my fears into a sense I'm doing my best to protect myself. 

I'm going through a phase where I've been fighting back against rock-bottom depression, and I'm trying once more to use old strategies that worked for me.  For instance, I've got several containers of things for storing, sealing etc. such as rubber bands, bungees, small tubs, safety pins, sticky tape, plastic bags etc., and I had a sort-out yesterday.

Some of it could have seemed very obsessive and pointless, but I'm a skin-picker, and sorting stuff fidget, fidget whilst listening to the news is better than picking, and as I sorted, I kept getting up, going round the house, up and down stairs as I collected stuff, sorted it, put some back and put some in the bin.  My legs were achey this morning but not nastily so and I felt less stressed.

So diverting 'aargh, maskless people not distancing, panic, panic' into 'what can I personally do to maximise my safety and that of others around me, such as seeing if a better mask would help' is much better, isn't it?


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