Author Topic: Death  (Read 9031 times)

gemini20

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Re: Death
« Reply #45 on: 09 Jul 2012 11:49PM »
I was quite unwell early last year,my husband called an ambulance.But he thought it was too late.I am obviously ok now.But I am back to how I was mentally and physically.But my husband has changed, it really seemed to affect him even though all was ok. So now I do worry about how he will cope,if maybe next time all is not ok.

boccius

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Re: Death
« Reply #46 on: 10 Jul 2012 09:00AM »
Dear Sherbs,

I wasn't for a moment saying that 'singles' took these matters lightly. And I take your point entirely about me having a partner to share bad (and good) times with. Maybe I was hankering for a monk-like life, with no-one too close, to make the leaving of that life a little easier. But perhaps the loneliness more than cancels out the advantage.

I was quite unwell early last year,my husband called an ambulance. But he thought it was too late. I am obviously ok now.But I am back to how I was mentally and physically. But my husband has changed, it really seemed to affect him even though all was ok. So now I do worry about how he will cope, if maybe next time all is not ok.

Gemini: he had a glimpse of the future, or at least one possible future, and was quite naturally appalled at the prospect.

When I talk about the added 'suffering' of the sick partner, this is just what I mean. You have to cope with your own illness, and now somehow need to help your husband, too. I feel for you.


A.

ChrisPage

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Re: Death
« Reply #47 on: 10 Jul 2012 01:28PM »
You're lucky (unlucky, depending on many factors) if you're on your own in this.

You only have yourself and your suffering, your pain, to contend with. You can decide when to die, without worrying too much about someone else's reaction to it.


I couldn't do it because of the effect it would have on my family. They've already had enough tragedy happen to them. My parents will probably be gone by then, but I have brothers and a niece and nephew.

sherbs

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Re: Death
« Reply #48 on: 10 Jul 2012 07:22PM »
Boccius

I need to apologise for my haste in posting.

I must remind myself not to post on ouch too when i have had a horrible, shite day at work, and in Pain..!!!

Please accept my apologies

Sherbs

boccius

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Re: Death
« Reply #49 on: 10 Jul 2012 08:27PM »
Absolutely unnecessary, Sherbs. We're all here because we share certain things, and understand each other...


A

KizzyKazaer

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Re: Death
« Reply #50 on: 10 Jul 2012 09:53PM »
We're all here because we share certain things, and understand each other...

Abso-flippin'-lutely! 

Sherbs, I saw nothing amiss in any of your postings to this thread - please don't feel you 'shouldn't' post here when life is shite, that's often the time when Ouchers appreciate each other's company most of all....because it does sometimes suck, being disabled and all that.
 
This is the board where people can be totally themselves, 'warts and all'  >thumbsup<  >cheerup<

Yvette

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Re: Death
« Reply #51 on: 11 Jul 2012 07:15PM »
I have a Living Will.  A copy is held by my GP and by my local hospital.  I actually wrote a letter to both GP and hospital asking them to confirm receipt of my Living Will and both responded to say my wishes had been noted on their systems.   As I don't have a close member of family, my Executor and a very close friend also have copies to ensure my wishes are adhered to.

I do not wish to offend anyone but I feel that I should be able to say how I feel about certain things, so if you are fragile or easily offended please do not read any further.

I am repeating my warning - if you are fragile or easily offended please do not read any further.  If you chose to read further then *you* are responsible for your feelings.

As I am already disabled I do not wish to be resucitated if I have a stroke and am unconcious.  My life is difficult enough as it is without it being made more complicated by not having the use of one side of my body or losing my speech.

I know there are thousands of people who live very happily after having a stroke and I am delighted for them.  But we all have the right to make our own choices and it is not my choice to live my life even more incapacitated than I already am.

If I begin to develp dementia, then I too, will be going on holiday to Switzerland.  The prospect of living in a care home with my health conditions horrifies me.   I have incontience and cannot have a catheter because of having MRSA in my bones and also a pocket of a different infection in my pelvis.  So I would be sat in a wet nappy 24/7.  Due to radiotherapy the skin on my undercarriage is extremely fragile so it would break down and become infected and be *extremely* painful.   Due to the shortage of staff it would not be possible to change my nappy frequently enough to prevent my skin breaking down so I do not wish to live for numerous years in agony.

Likewise, I have a colstomy and staff would probably not have the time to change the stoma bag either.  Having to live on a daily basis with soiled clothes and possibly even being told off by carers (it happens) for soiling my clothes - or throwing or smearing excretement around - is also something I do not wish to experience. 

Yes, there are thousands of people with dementia who do not throw or smear excrement around, but one cannot ever know if one is going to be one of them and I would rather not take the risk.

Especially as I once threw a full stoma bag (unfortunately I missed) at an able bodied person who chose to use the *only* disabled lavatory to get changed out of his wet suit because "there is more room in there than than an ordinary cubicle" (of which there was  a dozen!!) Grrr.

So I can just imagine if I became demented I would be throwing a full stoma bag at a member of staff - or another resident - who had annoyed me!!  >runforthehills<






gemini20

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Re: Death
« Reply #52 on: 11 Jul 2012 11:40PM »
Boccius,Thank you.

auntieCtheM

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Re: Death
« Reply #53 on: 12 Jul 2012 12:07AM »
Yvette, I wish I had a stoma bag to chuck at people sometimes, I really do. grr!  >lol<