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Talk / Re: Renewal time again so there is a decision to be made.
« Last post by Jockice on 01 Feb 2023 10:48AM »
Sorry, I should have read this before sending my delayed season's greetings. Like others I'd have happily contributed but if it's causing Sunshine Meadows too much stress that's fair enough. Be nice to keep in touch with others though.
Talk / Re: How is everyone?
« Last post by Jockice on 01 Feb 2023 10:42AM »
Belated Happy New Year everyone. After all what's a month between friends?. I haven't really got anything new to report but hope you're all okay.
News and Current Affairs. / Re: Do I do anything?
« Last post by JLR2 on 31 Jan 2023 11:41PM »
Hello Sunny, I think you are both right and I'll leave things in Glasgow for them to sort themselves out. As I was saying at the end of my last comment good intentions are all very nice and that but I could, even inadvertently, cause a lot of problems where there might be none as things stand for my ex. It could be she is well settled in her life and not in any danger or trouble.
News and Current Affairs. / Re: Do I do anything?
« Last post by JLR2 on 31 Jan 2023 11:29PM »
Good evening Monic. Thanks for your message there Monic,  for all that I was saying in my last posting there reading what you were saying makes a lot of sense. My ex and I didn't have any children, I never have managed to become a father, not for the want of trying I hasten to add :o)  Our relationship even after our divorce was a good one and but for my allowing myself to be distracted by another woman chances are I would not have ended up losing my wife, at least not at that time. Things in our lives were a bit mixed up and although my ex was as my wife seeing another guy I let it run and I just pretty much kept out of the way of things hoping they wouldn't get serious. I'd just go into town more or less every night to such as the Solid Rock bar and later to Hendry Africa's (disco) and as I was going to be at work from 3 am next day and driving I only ever drank soft drinks. It took the meeting of the distraction to see me miss the signs of what was to come. I should have known better, I wasn't a wee boy so I've no one to blame but myself.

It has been some help for me to write these lines over the last few hours as reading it to myself I feel there may be something of nostalgia about the 9 years together I had with my ex that have been brought back to mind just by looking at an old photo of her. I'm more of a mind right now to skip visiting the shop now as may cause more problems than I can imagine even inadvertent. Sometimes good intentions aren't enough in life.
News and Current Affairs. / Re: Do I do anything?
« Last post by Sunny Clouds on 31 Jan 2023 11:29PM »
JLR - I think Monic's right that you have to look after yourself, keep yourself safe.  So whatever you choose to do, my version of that would be that it won't help her if you put yourself in a situation where you could be harmed.

Only you know what is or isn't possible in terms of dropping into the shop, but reading what Monic said, I now feel less positive about it as an option.

I am biased in this respect.  I don't want to go into too many details, but many years ago, I went to police with concerns about the activities of a local criminal gang, giving them a list of names, house numbers and telephone numbers of others who wanted also to speak to them.  (We'd held a meeting.)

The police didn't interview us, they just tipped off the nasties and I was driven out of my home, selling it at a loss in a property crash.  It cost me my sanity, my career etc.  If I still owned that house, the increase in value by now would be over £200,000.

I don't say don't try to look after others, but having read Monic's wise post, I echo the view that you should look after yourself.
News and Current Affairs. / Re: Do I do anything?
« Last post by JLR2 on 31 Jan 2023 11:11PM »
Hi Sunny, that is a couple of good suggestions you have made there and I'll keep them in mind next time I'm down in Glasgow. I am a bit curious as to how my ex may have changed appearance wise, perhaps she's now sporting tattoos. I did a couple of years back bump into the woman who distracted me, and my allowing myself to be distracted missed the chance to save my marriage, and by heck had she changed. The woman I had known was a double for Samantha from Bewitched but when I met her she had really put on the weight and likewise much the same may have happened to my ex. That said I've well changed from the guy my ex knew so far as my appearance goes now. For one thing I've certainly a lot less by way of hair and whilst my legs are still sparrow thin I cannot say the same for my coffee belly :o))   

There are things that I've been thinking of as I've dwelt on how my ex's doing, to some extent I still feel really fond of her but I am so aware of all my friend in Berlin has done to make our relationship so meaningful and strong. There have been many a time she would have been perfectly justified in telling me to stay away. I'm talking of things like the damage to my face caused by the discoid lupus or when my lower dental plate split in half, I needed a fair bit of dental surgery following my car crash, not to mention her accepting both my financial situation and physical disabilities from when we first met. Sometimes it can be all too easy not to take in just how much others put into a relationship as we make our way through life. My Dad did this in regards to my Mum over the years whilst he was out working (painter and decorator with the council)  he'd just come home and expect dinner and the hoose being run, bills being paid on time and with us kids all looked after. It was following my Mum's passing that he discovered just how much she had been doing over the decades they were together. Now my Dad's in his 90's and luckily for him he has my sister looking after him much as my Mum did.

I think Sunny, that if I've a number of hours between arriving in Glasgow, on my way to Berlin, and catching my flight I might pop over to where the ex has her shop, if I simply go in and buy a coffee and either she is there and recognizes me and without any fuss sells me the coffee I have asked for and carries on with her day or I give her something of a surprise and she, like me has no bad feelings about our time together and is happy enough to say hello before getting on with her work. Time will tell I suppose.
News and Current Affairs. / Re: Do I do anything?
« Last post by Monic1511 on 31 Jan 2023 10:56PM »
First did you have any children with the ex? If no and you haven’t had any contact with her for a few years then I’d leave well alone.
I say that not because I’m not concerned for the ex who as you say may be getting taken advantage of but more concern for you.
If you get in touch with her and she is being controlled then the controller will want to know your concerns and what you know or don’t know.

If you are concerned about her wellbeing then maybe an anonymous letter to crime stoppers with your suspicions but focus on how the person you knew may be a victim of coercion and at risk of abuse.

That might put your mind at rest but unless you have a good relationship with the ex I’d be wary about turning up out of the blue.

News and Current Affairs. / Re: Do I do anything?
« Last post by Sunny Clouds on 31 Jan 2023 02:03PM »
It's a long shot, but could you find an excuse to go into the shop, ostensibly to ask her about something.  E.g. "Can you remember the name of the [service provider] we used to use?" or "Are you still in touch with So-and-so?  He knew a lot about [topic] and I wanted to ask him something."
News and Current Affairs. / Do I do anything?
« Last post by JLR2 on 31 Jan 2023 11:09AM »
Recently I found myself looking at an old photo of my ex-wife and out of curiosity/boredom did a few web searches and found some things that I wasn't quite expecting. I was surprised just how much you can find out on the web.

I read of some guys who were being linked to my ex, who I might add I split from without bad feelings, last time we met over 30 years back, she even told me the name and weight of her two daughters to the guy she had become involved with. What I learnt recently was a guy she is now involved with has it appears his fingers in numerous pies. There are two guys who share the same name but different birthdates and he seems to be setting up companies registering the companies addresses at domestic flats, and on one page at what appears to be a gatehouse/security office entrance to a group of unrelated businesses complex.

Some of the folk involved register the company as being a director before ending their directorship the same day and all this has me wondering if there is some sort of money laundering thing going on. My ex doesn't appear to do the likes of Facebook or twitter and the most recent contact address given for the business, she is said to be running, is a domestic flat in a Glasgow tower block where she is living with this guy. I have seen recently stories of various criminal groups using 'shell companies' to launder their profits and find myself wondering is she might be being used and perhaps be being coerced into fronting a loss making company.

I know it may come over as all daft or mad as a hatter thinking by me but knowing the lassie that was my ex I just can't see her as being someone who would get involved in anything dodgy off the own bat as it were. One of the earlier links I found suggested she was involved, at one given address, where there were three guys registered on the voting roll but she was mentioned through the Companies House register as being connected, rather odd I thought, like why make such a linkage at all?  And the guy she is apparently living with now is one of these guys, the one who has two different given birthdays and is being linked with 4+ companies around Glasgow. The other wee thing I noticed there was no mention anywhere online of her two daughters who would now be in their 30's.

So I find myself thinking about just dropping in to the shop she is said to be running as both director and manager, just to see if she is OK or at least not looking terrified. On one hand I could just get myself a coffee there and move on or it could all explode in that she might look to me to give her help if she is in any danger or under threat or she might feel as if I was stalking her and given she knows of where my family live in Glasgow contact them to ask that I do not visit the shop again. Calling my family could cause a reaction for which I would need to provide some sort of explanation. Whether my family could or would understand my concerns is a bit of a worry for me.

Should I bother with any of this at all?  Or just ignore it and  hope for the best that everything is OK?
Talk / Re: Renewal time again so there is a decision to be made.
« Last post by JLR2 on 31 Jan 2023 10:29AM »
I too will miss Ouch Too, on one hand I'd have liked to contributed to the costs of running it but on the other I think of the work and effort of Sunshine has been doing to have it here for us. I doubt I would have been able to do anything near the work involved. I was wondering if there might be a way to provide our contact details to each other, emails and the like, so we could in someway keep in touch?
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