Recent Posts

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Talk / Website Hosting and Security
« Last post by Sunshine Meadows on Today at 03:30 PM »
........ so the bill for renewal of Go Daddy services is due at the start of March. After what happened yesterday I do feel that coming here saved me from completely going down the rabbit hole so whether people make donations or not Ouch Too will be here for another year.

If you are able to and wish to donate click here to donate using Paypal. If you don't have Paypal and have a Access All Areas membership I will sort a way for the option to pay by cheque.

The total cost for the coming year is £153.72 and donations will anonymous this time. As usual once the amount is achieved I will announce it and donations can stop.
Cafe / Re: Desiderata
« Last post by Sunny Clouds on Today at 03:15 PM »
Thank you.
Cafe / Desiderata
« Last post by lankou on Today at 09:12 AM »
DesiderataGO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.By Max Ehrmann © 1927
Original text
Health and Disability / Re: Covid
« Last post by Fiz on Today at 07:51 AM »
Bit shocked about Boris's announcement that he's looking at ending self isolation for people who are Covid+ in March! People will be walking amongst us WITH Covid! How is this going to affect the clinically vulnerable if this plan goes ahead?

We really are moving into full herd immunity plan.
Talk / Re: Healthy Lifestyle Drop-in Centre
« Last post by Fiz on 20 Jan 2022 09:15AM »
I've had help from the mental health OT rehab team in clearing the clutter in my bedroom. Apart from one cardboard packing case of clothes it is now immaculate and virtually finished. I think what's helped me, along with the practical and emotional support of the OT, was coming so close to dying in March 2020. It really brought home to me how irrelevant material things are and how meaningless. Suddenly if things aren't useful or giving me pleasure, they're no longer important. I have fed the local charity shop so much over the last year as well as landfill. I can see a time when my whole house is uncluttered and tidy.

There's common advice on wardrobe decluttering saying that if you put all the coat hangers facing one direction and when you wear something and replace it, turn that hanger the other way around and after a year anything you haven't worn, give to charity. I'm not sure I advocate that entirely as I have an outfit or two for weddings, not that they currently fit me but I live in hope that they will so I am keeping them. I am currently a size 20 and have kept clothing I like that is size 18, in hope, in zipped bags in a cupboard and have kept jeans which are expensive that are size 16. All size 14, 12 and 10 have gone to charity. Books have gone. Presents that I am given that I feel that I will never use have also gone to charity as soon as I am given them. I have lost count of the car loads that have gone. I love my tidy uncluttered bedroom. My house is getting there. I'd love to say that dealing with the clutter has sorted my mental health problems but in my lows I just feel happy that I am not leaving my hoarding to others to sort out when I am gone and that's not a problem anybody needs. Meanwhile though, I am not missing the clutter.

One bit of advice I read recently with regard to emotional eating is to practice noticing an urge and not responding to it. It suggests starting with an itch. Notice the itch, and choose not to respond to it so not following the urge to scratch it. Working your way up in difficulty you can notice the urge to go and explore cupboards or the fridge to see what there is to eat, and not respond to it. Unless you are hungry or need a meal of course! But it's a theory worth exploring maybe.
Talk / Re: Chocolate deficiency crisis!
« Last post by Sunny Clouds on 19 Jan 2022 03:10PM »
This morning, I did my vague, wander round the kitchen and wondered what I actually wanted.  There was part of a 'protein' bar, i.e. a 'sugar and junk' bar with a token amount of protein.  I ate a bit.  It wasn't actually very satisfying and I was aware that I hadn't really expected it to be. So why had I eaten it?

Convenience.  The greed was as much for 'now, now, now' as for chocolate.

I thought of what else I buy that I'm 'gobble it now' with.  I've done the same with jars of peanut butter, jars of mayonnaise.  Yup, 'now' is the biggest driver.

Also, I'd bought some of those 'salads' that consist of a bit of tuna, some pasta, some lettuce and whatever else they fancy.  It used to be more sweetcorn and now it's cucumber and carrot.  I'd also bought a can of tuna and some lettuce.  I mixed it all up and willingly focussed primarily on munching the lettuce.

I've been finding I quite like lettuce but it doesn't say "eat me now".  But I didn't grow up eating lettuce.  I didn't even know what it tasted like until less than two years ago.  How do I embed the mental association between 'lettuce' and 'nice to snack on' in my brain?  It has to be possible.

This all has to be possible to deal with.

PS.  Does anyone know where one gets this 'self control' stuff?  I can't find it on ebay.  Do I have to make it myself?  (Yes, my humour gets pretty dire when I'm feeling guilty.)

Talk / Re: Healthy Lifestyle Drop-in Centre
« Last post by Sunny Clouds on 19 Jan 2022 02:52PM »
I have to resist the temptation to hoard, and I alternate between hoarding and decluttering, but with the throwing out sometimes being absurd.

However, for me personally, I've found what's most soothing (and I don't argue that it would be for anyone else) is to organise as much as possible into boxes, bags, crates etc., the sense being that I'm ready to move, that if and when I next move, it won't be a crisis.  I conceptualise it as like keeping my army kit on standby.

I do it to the extent that I use plastic boxes/crates that have lids, with or without the lids on, as 'drawers' on shelves. 

As I say, I'm not arguing that's the best approach for others.

That being said, elsesite, someone recommended a phrase for keeping one's home tidy that helps me, which is "Put it away not down."  My place isn't as tidy as it could be, but tidier than it would otherwise be, as I look at things and tell myself sternly "Away, not down!"
Talk / Re: Healthy Lifestyle Drop-in Centre
« Last post by ditchdwellers on 19 Jan 2022 12:28PM »
My aim is to generally feel better, emotionally, physically, and mentally. I'm trying to take a holistic approach to my wellbeing rather than focusing on one particular aspect of it.
Losing some weight would be good for me in many ways so I'm beginning to be more aware of everything I eat and my portion sizes. I started a new med six weeks ago that can cause weight gain so I'm watching out for unusual fluctuations. My diet is also still a little restricted due to recovering from stomach ulcers.

I think the thing that has the most profound effect on my wellbeing is slowly decluttering since moving 18 months ago. It's still an on going process and has taken a long time to see any benefits, but after passing on one car load of treasures to my sister, two car loads to the council recycling centre, and two to the charity shop even my husband commented how cathartic he found it.
To achieve this I have just sorted out one drawer or cupboard at a time so that it didn't become overwhelming. Yesterday I sorted out a deep drawer in the bottom of the desk that was jam packed full of old computer cables and charging leads for long gone phones and printers. Why on earth we still have them is baffling however we are terrible hoarders and are now determined to kick the habit.
Both myself and my husband feel better from having less clutter about the place and it's so much easier to find everything now. The drawers and cupboards have been cleaned thoroughly and reorganised with things like baskets and drawer dividers. There's not too much decluttering left to do now. I think it will probably take me a further four months to complete and then I hope it will be easier to keep on top the clutter from then on.

If anyone has a lot of personal paperwork to dispose of, I discovered that my local district council provided a household confidential waste service. I have to phone and pay for however many sacks I want and they are dropped off. When the sacks are full then I phone the council and they pick them up from the doorstep.

Hoarding has been an issue in our household over the years and finally starting to take control is a real boost.

Talk / Re: Chocolate deficiency crisis!
« Last post by ditchdwellers on 19 Jan 2022 11:20AM »
I went through a phase of buying of buying packs of small, individually wrapped chocolate bars from Lidl. I really like Lidl chocolate. The small bars were just enough to feel like I had a treat and satisfy a craving.
Likewise, they do lovely small chocolate coated ice creams on a stick. Perfect for finishing off a meal if I fancy something sweet.

To be perfectly honest, I seem to be lacking any self control when it comes to things like chocolate, ice cream, or biscuits. I could just as easily eat a large bar of chocolate as a small one, or a tub of ice cream compared to an individual wrapped lolly.

My portion control with savoury dishes is pretty good, apart from cheese straws, but that disappears out of the window when sweet things are around.
Cafe / Re: Larry the cat arrested.
« Last post by Sunny Clouds on 18 Jan 2022 08:09PM »
Aargh, no!  We need Larry to take over as PM.
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