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Quiet in here, is everyone OK?

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Sorry you were treated so disrespectfully by your "friend" sunny. Imo there's no excuse for such disrespect, you are worth more than that and many people would be justified in letting such a relationship go  :f_hug:

It's definitely warmer than it was. Due to the fuel price hike in April I had intended turning the central heating off on the last day of March but am trialling it off from today. I dyed my hair today and have to virtually strip for that for the 30 minute duration so needed the heating for this morning though the thermostat is set at 14° so it only came on for less than an hour first thing.

I had a cry for no reason at all this morning, just because I was low. I then in desperation contemplated the Consultant Psychiatrist's offer of rTMS and wondered whether I should give rTMS a go. I phoned CMHT and left a message for the team lead to call me back which he hasn't done hours later and calmer now I think I was just responding to the feelings of the moment and not making a thought out rational decision. I'm not sure it's possible to make a well thought out rational decision when feeling this low though. Like lemmings we follow the crowd and do as we are led, blindly. I've researched it widely and have only read one rTMS success story, in contrast to many who gained no benefit from it, many who said the leaflet citing it is pain free is untruthful and that it's painful but not unbearable and considering severe depression is painful in many ways, is no worse than that. Most concerning is some people feel debilitatingly fatigued in the weeks of the therapy and as I am barely functioning need that like a hole in the head. But I haven't read of anyone being left with more than short term side effects, no long term harm. I can't believe I am even considering it but when desperate I think most people would try anything.

I'm reading Matt Haig's The Midnight Library which is thought provoking.


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